Married to the Badge

The reality of being married to a cop is sort of like having your first baby. Beforehand, you imagine how wonderful it is going to be just to hold that baby in your arms. You think of how beautiful that baby is going to be and how you will never love anything more in the world than that bundle of joy. Then, the baby arrives, and although your child is even more wonderful than you imagined, the reality of it all is it that the baby comes packed with a ton of worry and a load of smelly poop and puke to boot!

When I met my LEO and thought of our impending vows and life together, I imagined how proud I would be to be married to a cop. I thought of how important his job was, the potential lives he could be saving, and how everyone would look up to him. I also thought he looked super hot in a uniform!

Even though reality is all of the above, it is also attending family functions alone. Reality is another 4th of July with just the kids and myself. Reality is another missed dinner that I spent my time cooking. Reality is sleeping alone and worrying about whether or not he is coming home to me.

Speaking from experience, you have to find a way to make peace with yourself and with your life if this career is going to work for your spouse, your marriage and your family. If your big argument at home with your LEO is, “I didn’t get married to sleep alone!” then you are definitely headed down a hard path. Your LEO needs a supportive spouse just as much as you need him to be understanding when it gets to be too much.

One of the ways you can support your spouse as well as yourself is to be your own person. I know that may sound contradictory, but it’s true. The more you can be happy in yourself, then the less you will depend on him for your happiness. Whether you build a great network of friends, start a new hobby, or volunteer at your church, find something just for you. He can not be your everything – that is asking too much of anyone. As you find your own happiness, as he has with this career, you will be grateful of the time you get to spend with him and more accepting of the times you have alone.

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